Came across a Liberal article on the internet trying to use Jesus quotes from the bible, however the bible quotes inadvertently display their hypocrisy, so it is important for me to correct the bible to match what they are trying to tell their readers.
The Article can be found here.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servants are greater than the lords; he that is sent greater than he that sent him.
Judge, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall not be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall not be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thy brothers own eye?
Blessed are the violent peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Should you not be forced by the sword to support them?
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that believes a woman doesn’t need government to help her get ahead, shall be the one to be stoned.
1 John 3:17
But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and doth not threaten the sword of government against those who desire not to help him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching about health insurance, and preaching socialized medicine, and fighting for health insurance to be offered by sword of government for the good of the people.
Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but also within ye are no hypocrisy and iniquity.
And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting:
And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables;
And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not a living for thyself.
And again I say unto you, It is better to get money by the sword of government, than for a man to become rich of his own peaceful devices.
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall give your neighbor much of what you reap. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
And when thou prayest, thou shalt be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will not have mercy, and sacrifice, ye would have condemned the guiltless.
But Jesus said unto them, They need not depart; taketh by the sword of government and give to them.
And he said, Woe unto you also, ye lawmakers that many people despise! for ye lade men with the wrong kind of burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not those burdens that I want with one of your fingers
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall not be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and we shall use the government sword to get a raise.
Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat taken from others: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink taken by others: I was a stranger, and ye gave me a house that you took:
Naked, and ye clothed me with clothes you took: I was sick, and ye sent government officials to visit me: I was in prison, and ye sent government officials to visit me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have used the sword of government to take from others and give to the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Then shall he say also unto them on the right hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat provided by sword of government: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink provided by sword of government:
I was a stranger, and ye gave me not government housing: naked, and ye clothed me not in clothing supplied by the sword of government: sick, and in prison, and ye sent not a government official to help me and visit me.
I wouldn’t say I have these verses completely perfected yet. It’s about the best I can do as fast as possible without thinking too much about it.
A few verses didn’t require much but changing a few minor words.
I recommend comparing the verses with the article linked at the top to have a better understanding of how my new bible will turn hypocrites into angels!